The soundtrack of my life

So... okay, I'm gonna make a Michael Jackson Blog... I know ... I know... it's the "trendy" thing to do now but I really feel like I should get this out there because it's what I'm feeling today......

My parents tried very hard not to let me listen to anything that they found "objectionable" in the music world. This meant that as a child (born in 1982) my mother listened to country music and forced me to do the same, she didn't like any other forms of music. My father listened to 'oldies' and so I was also inundated with music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. But try as they might they weren't able to shield me & I am glad of it. Through my childhood in the mid to late 80s and the 90s I couldn't help but hear new music. It was everywhere, the mall, school, my 2 older sisters, my friends, etc...

And so from the background music of my early childhood to the development of my own personal tastes in music grew the first part of the soundtrack of my life. During that time you would have had to live in a cave to NOT know who Michael Jackson was. Even though I was too young to really appreciate his music for more than a catchy beat I knew he was something big. While my parents found some of his lyrics perverse and didn't like his style of music, I loved it. I loved Michael Jackson as much as the Tom Petty tapes I stole from my sister and the Aerosmith tape that my friend made for me. I was too young to really grasp what the lyrics of say... Billie Jean or Dirty Diana meant but it didn't matter. I just loved the music and I would sing along with the best of them. My parents didn't let me watch MTV of VH1 I had never seen a music video until I was in the 5th grade and my best friend Brandy's older brother couldn't believe that I hadn't seen one and played a VHS tape of Thriller for me that he had recorded from MTV. MJ's Thriller was the first music video I ever saw and to this day I haven't seen one half as good since.

When Black Or White came out it was instantly my favorite song in the world replacing Ice Ice Baby (my musical tastes have come a long way since then, but we all know you probably liked it then too even if you won't admit it now!) much to my mother's dismay. I was raised in an all white deep south family and while in most respects I wouldn't call my parents racist they certainly were when it came to relationships. It's strange that until that song came out when I was 9 I had never even thought about interracial relationships. Relationships in general hadn't been at the top of my priority list back then, not so much as worrying over if it was pizza day in the cafeteria or if recess would get rained out. After singing this song at the top of my lungs several times though it did incite my parents into talking about interracial relationships with me and how they did not approve... In retrospect I suppose it's quite funny that I think Michael Jackson would certainly be more accepting of all the men I dated throughout my life before I was married than my own parents. My mother used to worry about me because I wasn't "ladylike enough"she though since I wasn't interested in dating like my 2 older sisters had been. The truth though is that my parents just didn't know about my boyfriends. As far as they knew I didn't start dating until the later part of my 18th year, though my first real boyfriend was a Chinese immigrant a few weeks before I turned 17. I went off on this side note because in my own life MJ's music was what incited my first debate with my mother on the matter. If it hadn't been for his song, the same discussions may have come later or they may not have perhaps without that song I would have ended up brainwashed by my own mother on the topic... I just don't know. What I do know is that I wish I could thank him for offering a different (and more in line with my own) opinion to consider.

Later in life as his hits slowed down and he faded to the background of my musical tastes. The media vilified him or made him into a crazy person & it was no longer 'cool' to like him. I'll admit when my friends made fun of him when I was in high school I joined in, that's not to say that I am not ashamed of it now, but I did. It was the thing to do, everyone jumped on the bandwagon making someone else look or feel bad made you look better by comparison I suppose. Kids are cruel. But as an adult I never decided what to believe about him. Yes he was strange, but aren't we all at least a little in our own ways? And can you really blame him when you think about it? He had been one of the biggest stars in the world since he was a very small child, he wasn't even allowed to go to school with kids his own age, so is it really surprising that growing up with an abusive and controlling father more concerned with money than with the welfare of his own children and having no interaction with people his own age until he was an adult, that he never really learned what it meant to be a "normal" kid or adult? the following are the points about him that people have made fun of the most (I included unfortunately when I was a kid) & why I think we should give him a break. Why I think the media should stop this circus surrounding his death and let him be laid to rest with a little dignity and respect.

1- He "bleached" his skin -
okay peeps, the man had a disease called Vitiligo. Those of you who don't believe it here is a good video someone put up on YouTube it shows his skin becoming more & more blotchy even under all the pancake make-up he wore to try and hide it.

and according to several sites on the matter the most common treatment people with this disease chose is depigmentation. An excerpt from Wikipedia - "some people with vitiligo opt for chemical depigmentation, which uses 20% monobenzone (monobenzylether of hydroquinone). This process is irreversible and generally ends up with complete or mostly complete depigmentation."
I personally can't fault him for that. Look at the pictures of untreated people near the end of the video and tell me you wouldn't want to even out your skin tone if that was your only really proven method? I would do it too.

2 - He is a germaphobe-
Yes he was and with a very good reason, better than most germaphobes. The man had Lupus as well as Virtiligo. Though his Lupis was in remission, there is no cure for it and it is an autoimmune disease. Again, I would probably wear a surgical mask out when I came in contact with other people too if I had a life threatening autoimmune disease... He did the same thing I would have done in that circumstance so I cannot fault him for that either.

3 - He was eccentric. He had exotic pets and spent more $ than he had -
He was a multimillionaire and one of the most famous people on the planet. I don't know that I wouldn't go overboard myself given the opportunity and that amount of money... But from 1985 to 1990, Jackson donated $500,000 to the United Negro College Fund, and all of the profits from his single "Man in the Mirror" went to charity. He has given more to charity that any other single person in history. Some people say he was trying to repent, some say he was just a good person though I never knew him personally I think I want to believe the later.

4 - He forced his children to wear masks in public -
Yeah, so what! He knows what it's like first hand to have your life documented and hounded by the press from the time you were a small child and also ruined my the media. Who would have looked twice at those 3 kids walking down the street without their father? No one, because no one knew what they looked like. And I applaud him for that, while no child of Michael Jackson's would ever have a normal childhood, he tried to give them some anonymity and what little protection from the press that he could. Insuring that they had a little bit better chance of a normal life than he had. Kudos to him!

5 - His plastic surgery made him look alien -
Yeah, he got a bad couple of nose jobs, and the cleft chin wasn't his best idea... but who cares? How many other celebrities and everyday Joes for that fact get rhinoplasty every flipin' day? The man was a musical genius... so what if he wasn't as cute as he once was. Which of us is as cute as we once were? And on the same subject, his father had made fun of him calling him big nose since he was born, when you don't get to be around regular people or even go to school, but you are around your own father everyday and he is the one making fun of you for as long as you can remember.... well that would have to take it's toll on anyone... And according to people close to him he also worried about his high voice and wanted to appear more masculine... hence the cleft in his chin...In his book he even admitted to getting the cleft put in his chin to look more masculine. What can I say... sometimes plastic surgery goes wrong.... I sincerely doubt that he chose to look like that and even if he did, that was his prerogative....

6 - I saved this one til the end because it is the tough one - he was a child molester -
While I abhor child molesters and personally think that they should all be castrated, there is no real proof that he was one. Yes he liked hanging out with kids, but he was denied that as a child himself. Maybe he was just trying to relive what all he missed out on... like I said no doubt that he was a little strange, but I don't think he was a child molester and I'll tell you why - Lisa Marie Presley came out and said he wasn't and that he had never done anything inappropriate in the 2 years that they lived together. I can tell you I have seen first hand that there is no fury like that of an ex-wife to get even and she had nothing to lose by staying quiet, but she chose to step up. Every person who actually knew him and was close to him volunteered to testify that he never did anything in appropriate with children. Not one single person who actually knew him said anything but wonderful things about him and his character. If it were true I think that someone would have found a way to prove it and make a quick buck selling it to the media by now. He was NEVER convicted of anything even when it went all the way to court & the parents were WAY more questionable in there judgment than MJ. I think they were just out for money. Yeah, he settled some things out of court for a lot of money, but if he had gone to court it would have been a media circus just like it was when it did and public opinion convicted him even though there wasn't any evidence and a judge didn't. I can't say what did or didn't happen and I chose to try and believe the best in people until proven otherwise, and no one on this planet has been able to prove anything of that sort.

So good bye to the man who made me think to question my parents closed minded views, the man who gave me the Thriller to dance to in 7th grade dance team for Halloween, the man who enabled my fist rebellion at a young age by simply singing his music when I wasn't supposed to know it, Good bye to the man who at least in a small way helped to constitute so many of my cherished childhood memories..... goodbye to that little piece of my childhood that died with him forcing me that much further into the world of adulthood....
Rest In Piece Michael Joseph Jackson.

Showtime

Okay.... So I have an addiction!!!! My hubby has even threatened to call the show Intervention if I can't stop.... what am I addicted to you ask?????? in a word
BOOKS
I know sounds innocent enough right? but it really is true (even if I won't admit it to him) I have had this affliction since I was a small child... once I start a good book I just can't put it down. I'll stay up all night reading sometimes completely oblivious until the alarm goes off and I am taken off guard. I have just ordered a new series of fiction novels and I finished the 7 books in under 4 days... no kidding...
The thing is, as annoyed as my hubby gets, is it really that bed of a habit? Yes I admit after 4 days of sleep deprivation I am barely functioning at work today and am chugging energy drinks like a MoFo, but aren't there worse addictions out there??????? And no I'm not even talking about drugs of any sort!
Take my husband for example, as he is the main complainant in this tale, He is totally addicted to video games. He will play for hours and hours completely oblivious to the world around him. And yet it annoys him when I don't pay him attention so that I can read instead!
So what I read too much.... I don't personally think that's the worst vice I could have!! :-D

So, this is me

well, let's see I have had this account just sitting out there for about 2 years now and never thought I had anything interesting to say. But Here goes.. My name is Denetra (but you can call me Dee) and this is going to be my vent / realizations / boredom eliminating blog... basically whatever I feel like posting, so hold on the ride might get bumpy at times. But here we go......